Tuesday

Today was a short, exhausting day. I didn't have much time to work out this evening as I had homework to do, but I still ran 1 mile, and did arms and abs. I'm not working out as long as I would like to, but at least I'm doing it. That's the first step. I need to gradually get back into it, otherwise I'm going to hate it and resent doing it every night. I'm going to bed, I'm exhausted. I may or may not workout tomorrow as I have hospice volunteer work and its my day off so I like to relax for a while.

Breakfast: cereal with milk.
Lunch: PBJ sandwich, 2 graham crackers, 4 fat free marshmallows, 1 fun size hershey bar
Snack: multigrain cheerios
Dinner: Meatloaf and perogies.
Water to drink.

Monday

I did workout today. I walked on the treadmill and then decided to kick into high gear and ran the rest of that mile. I'm tired today. Not used to getting up early after a relaxing weekend. I ate poorly today, too much, full of fat, shameful. I'm embarrassed. Haven't lost any weight yet, we'll see after tomorrow. I've gained enough this weekend to where it should be relatively easy to get it off again. I ran 1 mile, did 3 miles on the bike and burned about 300 calories. I did some arms and abs also while watching Blood Ties. The gorgeous Henry Fitzroy inspires me to be skinny, or at least his abs do ;) Alas, it is bed time, and I shall post again tomorrow.

Breakfast: cereal w/ milk
Lunch: 2 fried egg sandwiches, water to drink
Snack: PBJ sandwich, water to drink
Dinner: KFC (chicken, biscuit, mashes potatoes w/ gravy, mac n cheese) water to drink
Other: fun size candy (M&M, snickers, Twix), zero calorie gatorade, 5 calorie diet cranapple juice

I'll start Monday

Today was better than yesterday as I had predicted. After I posted I went right downstairs for a fit of dancing and it made me happy. I worked today and went to school, and I'm thinking that if I just continue my regular schedule the rest of the week, I should be fine. Friday morning I will get up early and workout, go get my liscence redone, do some cleaning, pick up Hannah, and it's off to Eastern to see Derek. I really miss him. It sucks being in a long(ish) distance relationship. I wish he was here so we could lose weight together and motivate each other. It's hard to be doing this alone. Anyway I lost a pound since yesterday, but MONDAY I will get started, back in the swing of things. Workouts at night, light dinner after work, burn 500 cals each workout, Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri, Sat. and every other Sun. 

Here's What I ate today:

cereal with milk

spaghetti with meat sauce, 2 pieces bread w/ butter, coke zero

3 eggs, 3 pieces sausage, 2 pieces toast, diet cranberry juice,

ice cream

Things I'm giving up: Ice Cream, Pizza, Cheese, Chips

Square One?

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Don't even know what to say. I'm so mad at myself for allowing myself to be lazy again and give up so easily. I was posting everyday, making videos every week, actually enjoying working out, and now I feel worthless again. I want to cover up all the mirrors I come across because I can't stand looking at myself. I don't see anything good, and I know that's just my unhappiness talking. I just need to get back out there and do it. No excuses. See right now I have my workout clothes on, but I'm fighting with myself because I need to study for a test, do my laundry, clean the kitchen, and still want time to relax, and I know that if I work out, I will be forfeiting that relaxation time. Fuck it. I'm just gonna do it. Just gonna get my fat, lazy butt up and run on the tredmill until I'm gasping for air. At least then I'll feel as if I accomplished something for once in my life.

Here's what I ate today: cereal with milk
                                   PBJ sandwich, popcorn, ice cream, coke zero,
                                   salad with french dressing and croutons, spaghetti with meat, seagrams wine cooler

........tomorrow will be a better day. I'm committing to weighing in everyday and posting/working out. even if it kills me...
This morning I weighed 244.8