................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Don't even know what to say. I'm so mad at myself for allowing myself to be lazy again and give up so easily. I was posting everyday, making videos every week, actually enjoying working out, and now I feel worthless again. I want to cover up all the mirrors I come across because I can't stand looking at myself. I don't see anything good, and I know that's just my unhappiness talking. I just need to get back out there and do it. No excuses. See right now I have my workout clothes on, but I'm fighting with myself because I need to study for a test, do my laundry, clean the kitchen, and still want time to relax, and I know that if I work out, I will be forfeiting that relaxation time. Fuck it. I'm just gonna do it. Just gonna get my fat, lazy butt up and run on the tredmill until I'm gasping for air. At least then I'll feel as if I accomplished something for once in my life.
Here's what I ate today: cereal with milk
PBJ sandwich, popcorn, ice cream, coke zero,
salad with french dressing and croutons, spaghetti with meat, seagrams wine cooler
........tomorrow will be a better day. I'm committing to weighing in everyday and posting/working out. even if it kills me...
This morning I weighed 244.8
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