Tuesday

Today was a short, exhausting day. I didn't have much time to work out this evening as I had homework to do, but I still ran 1 mile, and did arms and abs. I'm not working out as long as I would like to, but at least I'm doing it. That's the first step. I need to gradually get back into it, otherwise I'm going to hate it and resent doing it every night. I'm going to bed, I'm exhausted. I may or may not workout tomorrow as I have hospice volunteer work and its my day off so I like to relax for a while.

Breakfast: cereal with milk.
Lunch: PBJ sandwich, 2 graham crackers, 4 fat free marshmallows, 1 fun size hershey bar
Snack: multigrain cheerios
Dinner: Meatloaf and perogies.
Water to drink.

Monday

I did workout today. I walked on the treadmill and then decided to kick into high gear and ran the rest of that mile. I'm tired today. Not used to getting up early after a relaxing weekend. I ate poorly today, too much, full of fat, shameful. I'm embarrassed. Haven't lost any weight yet, we'll see after tomorrow. I've gained enough this weekend to where it should be relatively easy to get it off again. I ran 1 mile, did 3 miles on the bike and burned about 300 calories. I did some arms and abs also while watching Blood Ties. The gorgeous Henry Fitzroy inspires me to be skinny, or at least his abs do ;) Alas, it is bed time, and I shall post again tomorrow.

Breakfast: cereal w/ milk
Lunch: 2 fried egg sandwiches, water to drink
Snack: PBJ sandwich, water to drink
Dinner: KFC (chicken, biscuit, mashes potatoes w/ gravy, mac n cheese) water to drink
Other: fun size candy (M&M, snickers, Twix), zero calorie gatorade, 5 calorie diet cranapple juice

I'll start Monday

Today was better than yesterday as I had predicted. After I posted I went right downstairs for a fit of dancing and it made me happy. I worked today and went to school, and I'm thinking that if I just continue my regular schedule the rest of the week, I should be fine. Friday morning I will get up early and workout, go get my liscence redone, do some cleaning, pick up Hannah, and it's off to Eastern to see Derek. I really miss him. It sucks being in a long(ish) distance relationship. I wish he was here so we could lose weight together and motivate each other. It's hard to be doing this alone. Anyway I lost a pound since yesterday, but MONDAY I will get started, back in the swing of things. Workouts at night, light dinner after work, burn 500 cals each workout, Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri, Sat. and every other Sun. 

Here's What I ate today:

cereal with milk

spaghetti with meat sauce, 2 pieces bread w/ butter, coke zero

3 eggs, 3 pieces sausage, 2 pieces toast, diet cranberry juice,

ice cream

Things I'm giving up: Ice Cream, Pizza, Cheese, Chips

Square One?

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Don't even know what to say. I'm so mad at myself for allowing myself to be lazy again and give up so easily. I was posting everyday, making videos every week, actually enjoying working out, and now I feel worthless again. I want to cover up all the mirrors I come across because I can't stand looking at myself. I don't see anything good, and I know that's just my unhappiness talking. I just need to get back out there and do it. No excuses. See right now I have my workout clothes on, but I'm fighting with myself because I need to study for a test, do my laundry, clean the kitchen, and still want time to relax, and I know that if I work out, I will be forfeiting that relaxation time. Fuck it. I'm just gonna do it. Just gonna get my fat, lazy butt up and run on the tredmill until I'm gasping for air. At least then I'll feel as if I accomplished something for once in my life.

Here's what I ate today: cereal with milk
                                   PBJ sandwich, popcorn, ice cream, coke zero,
                                   salad with french dressing and croutons, spaghetti with meat, seagrams wine cooler

........tomorrow will be a better day. I'm committing to weighing in everyday and posting/working out. even if it kills me...
This morning I weighed 244.8

Fourth of July weekend!

Hello again all, happy 3 day weekend to each of you. Monday is July 4th and I'm getting a little nervous. The last time we had a family get-together was for mother's day and there were so many delicious foods and desserts that I ate badly. There hasn't been a holiday or event to go to since I've started dieting so this weekend will definitely be a challenge for me in terms of fighting against cravings. I'll have to really kick some ass today after work with my workout as I've already gained 3 lbs this week. It sucks but i'm gonna try really hard this weekend to get back to where I was before. I won't care if I don't lose any weight, but I want to get those 3 lbs off and back to where I was before.
Tonight Derek, the parentals, and I are going to Valpo for some music/fireworks event. It should be cool. Who doesn't love fireworks? My dog...that's for sure...
Afterward we plan on coming back to the house and might drink a little. We will see though. I am nervous about that too as drinking makes you bloated and there are a lot of calories in liquor. It's summertime and I want to live a little, but I don't want to lose everything I've worked for so far. It'll be okay I think. Happy 4th!

Catch up!

Sorry I've not been blogging, it's seriously been the farthest thing from my mind. I have been so busy working, and exercising and dieting and spending every second with Derek that there's never enough time to blog. But I'm back today. So real quick, here's the link to my new video, I lost 12 pounds so far check it out if you haven't seen it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_11HUBPwatk

Tonight I was naughty and went out to eat with Kacey after work. We went to Cafe 24 a.k.a Round the Clock and I am so stuffed. I am worried that I'm not going to have lost any weight after this week because of how I ate today. But hopefully I can get my weight back down to where I was before. So the dieting has become much easier now because I can go without tempting foods and hardly ever get cravings anymore. It's pretty awesome. I also was able to go workout with a friend yesterday and I still have blisters on the back of my heels from all the walking we did. Thanks Jenille for keeping me motivated :) I am always looking for someone to workout with so just call or text me and I will be there. Next month is going to be crazy busy. I'm turning 21 in 13 days and that's my mini-deadline for weight loss. I want to have lost at least 20 lbs by my birthday, so that's only 8 more pounds to go. I might not make it but I'm gonna try my hardest.

Anyway, I'm pretty sleepy and I'm gonna get up early tomorrow to workout so..Goodnight all!

Week 4, Day 5

Talk about an inspiration! Friday after work, I went with mom and michael to run on the track at t.f. south. and we ran around a couple times. I did 1 mile and ran up the bleachers too. After one set of stairs, my legs were burning!! Mom and michael told me that I did an awesome job, and good words never get old. So when I got home, I ate dinner--Salmon and rice--- and then I played Pirates of the Caribbean Lego, and it was so so so fun! It was really nice and rewarding to be able to chill out and play a game after my workout because I knew that I worked hard and I never felt that feeling of "oh I really should be working out right now". My conscience kept quiet that evening :) I recommend that game, it was awesome!